Have you ever walked into a room and felt like you didn’t belong?
Once, I walked into a place where every glance, whisper and turn back felt like a quiet confirmation: You don’t fit here. The instinct kicks in—shrink back. Hide. Disappear.
For many, especially those who have felt rejected by the church, this is not just a passing feeling—it’s a lived reality.
The other day, after church, I spoke with a brave woman. She asked me a question that broke my heart: “Do I belong here?” She wasn’t looking only for affirmation; she was looking for Jesus. And yet, the fear of rejection loomed so large.
If you’ve ever wondered the same thing, I want you to hear this: The church hasn’t always gotten it right. But we are trying. And Jesus has never stopped loving you.
The Tension Between Truth and Love
There is a tension in holding both truth and love, and we often falsely assume we must choose between them. But Jesus never made that choice—He embodied both, fully and perfectly.
Too often, the church has leaned too far in one direction or the other—offering truth without love, which wounds, or love without truth, which lacks transformation. But the Gospel calls us to hold them together.
Truth without love is harsh. Love without truth is hollow.
When we let go of either, we lose the heart of Jesus.
- Jesus spoke truth to the woman at the well, yet He did so with love and dignity.
- Jesus welcomed sinners and outcasts, yet He always invited them into a new way of living.
Holding to both truth and love means acknowledging where we have fallen short—where we, as the church, have hurt others in our pursuit of truth, and where we have failed to speak truth in our pursuit of acceptance.
It is not one or the other. It is both. All at once. All the time.
The Pain of Feeling Unseen in Church
Many people—especially those in the LGBTQ+ community, those with past church wounds, and those struggling with faith—feel unseen, unwelcome, and unheard in church spaces.
Scripture tells the story of a woman who had suffered for twelve years with an illness that made her an outcast (Mark 5:25-34). She wasn’t just sick—she was shunned. Not allowed in the temple. Not welcome in the market. Not part of the community.
Everywhere she went, she carried a label: Unclean. Untouchable. Unwelcome.
Still, she reached for Jesus.
She thought, If I can just touch His garments, I will be healed. She didn’t want to be noticed. She didn’t want to make a scene. She just wanted to reach Him.
And when she did, He stopped.
“Who touched me?”
He wasn’t asking for His sake. He was asking for hers.
She had already received healing. But Jesus knew she needed more—she needed to be seen, restored, and given back her identity.
“Daughter, your faith has made you well.”
For twelve years, she was known only by her suffering. But in one word, Jesus gave her a new name: Daughter.
Identity: Found in Jesus, Not in Labels
One of the greatest struggles we face is the question: Who am I?
In today’s world, identity is shaped by labels, past wounds, cultural narratives, and personal experiences. But identity was never meant to be found in these things.
Our true identity is found in Jesus.
When sin entered the world, we lost more than innocence—we lost our identity. We were created to walk with God, to be defined by Him, to be whole in Him.
But sin broke that. And ever since, we have been searching.
🔹 Some look within, crafting an identity from desires, achievements, and relationships, hoping for validation.
🔹 Others accept what the world tells them, allowing external voices to shape who they are.
Neither path leads to true wholeness.
Identity is something given by God, and it can only be restored in God.
And that restoration happens in two places:
✅ In the presence of Jesus.
✅ In the Body of Christ.
We do not find belonging in isolation. God never designed us to restore our identity alone. That is why the Church must be a place that invites people into His presence, not one that pushes them away.
When the Church Has Failed, Jesus Still Sees You
Let’s be honest:
If people need courage to walk into church, it’s because the church has given them a reason to fear.
For too long, churches have drawn exclusionary lines, deciding who is worthy of belonging. But Jesus never operated that way. He didn’t filter people out—He invited them in.
Ask yourself:
- Have we, as the church, been more like the crowd—blocking the way—than like Jesus, making a way?
- Have we unintentionally (or intentionally) excluded those who need healing most?
- Have we focused more on policing boundaries than building bridges?
It’s time to change that.
A church that follows Jesus must:
✅ Be a place of healing, not harm
✅ Listen before it speaks
✅ Make room at the table for everyone
Because when we embrace, people find courage, healing, and identity in Christ.
If You’ve Been Hurt by the Church, Please Hear This…
If the church has hurt you, I am so sorry. If you’ve felt unseen, I see you. If you’ve been told you don’t belong, you do.
You are not an issue to be debated. You are not a problem to be solved. You are a person deeply loved by God.
The church hasn’t always gotten it right. But we are trying. And Jesus never stopped loving you.
Stay Connected & Keep the Conversation Going
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💬 Drop a comment below. You are loved. You belong. Jesus sees you.
All at Once; All The Time
No either/or.
Only both/and.No spectrum to measure,
no pendulum to swing,
no scale to balance.He is not divided.
Not shifting. Not split.He is fully Truth, fully Love—
Unmoved. Unshaken. Unchanged.To divide them is to diminish Him.
To separate them is to shrink the infinite.
A hollow attempt to remake the unmade.And when we love—
we dare not choose one and forsake the other.Love without truth is a shadow.
Truth without love is a blade.One soothes but does not save.
One cuts but does not heal.But held together,
they are a fire that refines,
a light that reveals,
a love that calls the dead to rise.He is fully Truth, fully Love—
All at once. All the time.Not half of one, nor less of the other—
All at once. All the time.Not shifting with culture, nor bending to fear—
All at once. All the time.Not a choice to make, nor a side to take—
All at once. All the time.And if we are His—
we will love like this.With truth that does not wound.
With love that does not lie.With grace that restores.
With holiness that refines.Not one or the other—
but both.
All at once. All the time.
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